Waffles
by StageKrazy
Summary: Okay. if you do not enjoy random humor laughing at yourself, you aren't going to like this. if you want something more serious check out my story "Lover I Don't Have To Love"


                             ~*Waffles*~

Hey guys!!!! Sorry you haven't heard from me! I've been trying to write the second chapter to All you Wanted so I've been busy with that and the last days of school. Does anyone else have to take an exam on the last day of school?!? Geeze…Texas public school systems suck. Anyway, this little demented fic is for your pure enjoyment, barf reflex, or just to make you crave waffles. Either way on with it.

           ~*Waffles*~

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the Australian waffle. 

   It was the glorious beginning of summer! The land of public pools, high temperatures, and girls. At least for Harry and Ron it was. Harry was over at Ron's house for the summer.  But at eight o'clock in the morning, they wanted what every other man on earth wants at that time of day. Breakfast. (Duh silly) Harry seated himself next to Ron and Mr.Weasley as Mrs.Weasly put a plate in front of him.

Mrs.Weasley: three or four waffles to start your day Hon?

Harry: Oh! Just two please. Thank you.

Mrs.Weasley: oh. Okay dear. Eat up!

She slapped a **HUGE** waffle onto his plate. Harry, ravenously hungry because he's a guy, picked up the syrup and started drizzling the thick sticky liquid over the steaming hot breakfast pastries. All of a sudden, he heard a voice. A voice using a strong Australian accent.

A Voice: Ha Ha Ha!! Stop that.

Harry: oh I'm sorry! I..Wait….who said that?

A Voice: I did.

Harry: Who? Geeze Ron! Stop using an Australian accent. It's too early in the morning to be messing with my head.

Ron: what?!? What's a Australian? 

Harry, now realizing what a bizarre accusation he had made composed himself and apologized to Ron. (Not before promising to explain Australia to Ron) He then took up a knife and started slathering and spreading rich creamy butter all over the uneven surface of the hot waffle. This created a rich mixture of sticky sweet syrup and melted butter.

A Voice: That tickles mate. I said stop it! 

There that voice was again!

Harry: ~Could it be Ginny? ~ He thought. ~No. Mrs.Weasley?…no…. the Twins?…no…WAIT!!!! It sure as hell could be the twins! So, they're playing mind games huh? Well I'll be ready for them! ~

Harry: **^**shoots Fred and George separate but equally deadly looks^

Fred: ^looks at Harry as if he's crazy and goes back to his waffles. ^

George: ^ Glares back though has no idea why. ^

Harry: ~what a Git! ~ He thought. ~The blighter thinks we're have a staring contest! ~ 

Harry tried to calmly go back to his waffles. He grabbed the bowl of sugar dusted strawberry halves. They were blood red and fresh picked. He spooned some onto his steamy waffle.

Voice: What do you think you're doing? 

There it was again only it was slightly muffled. But still unmistakably Australian.

Harry: Getting ready to eat my waffle. 

The whole table was staring at him now.

Ron: we know you are.

Voice: you can't eat me!

Harry: yes I can.

Ron: Can what?

Voice: If you eat me I'll die!

Harry: So?

Ron: So? So what?

Voice: I love you!

Harry: who are you?

Ron: I'm Ron! ^Slightly hurt^

Voice: I'm your waffle!

Harry: oh.

Ron: What?!? You didn't know that? ^Dangerously on the verge of tears^

Harry: Why are you talking to me waffle?

The Whole table-full of people was severely worried about Harry's mental health by this time. Mrs.Weasley had put down her serving plate of waffles and was feeling Harry's forehead with her hand and suggesting that he lay down for a bit.

Waffle: I just wanted to let you know you need a tan.

Harry: oh well isn't that nice? Isn't that nice of the waffle Mrs.Weasley? I do need a tan you know.

Mrs.Weasley: sure you do dear. ^To Mr.Weasley^ Arthur! He's delirious! ^To Harry^ just lay down on this tanning bed and I'll get the assistant.

Harry: but Mrs.Weasley. This is your couch. I think you've lost your marbles!

Waffle: Well…uhhhh….Harry, I have to go feed my dingo. I'll see you later. Ok?

Harry: But I'm still hungry!

Okay. No one else could hear the waffle. Ron thought Harry was talking to him. Yes, the waffle was talking to Harry. Harry is not on crack. (Hopefully) Anyway, that's that. I don't expect it to be funny. Review pleeeeaaaaassseeee!!!!!!!!!!! I'm begging!!! ^Author on knees kissing your feet^ and review my other story. ^More begging. ^  Constructive criticism no down right flames. REMEMBER!!: this was meant to be stupid.

~Koley Kat*


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